


Ripples

by ziskandra



Series: Calm Before the Storm [1]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Character Study, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Isabela POV, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:35:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27465793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziskandra/pseuds/ziskandra
Summary: Isabela had thought she'd given up on love, but as it turns out, love hasn't given up onher.
Relationships: Female Hawke/Isabela
Series: Calm Before the Storm [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022938
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10
Collections: Flash With Benefits





	Ripples

**Author's Note:**

  * For [infernal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/infernal/gifts).



When Isabela looks at her lover, it feels like catching a glimpse of her own reflection in the near-still waters of a shallow beach on a sunny day. There’s so much they have in common: their love for duels, for being splattered in another’s blood, for drink and for no-holds-barred sex.

They’re so similar they could be the same, if not for the ripples on the surface.

But just like the water, when she reaches out to touch, the mirror-image disappears, distorts, until there’s nothing there at all. It is Hawke’s hidden depths that matter most, and it's there where they couldn’t be more different if they tried. Isabela knows she is just a pretty face armed with deadly daggers, but she is also selfish, a liar, and a thief: all traits Hawke could do without in a lover. Hawke, who loves so readily, heart on her sleeves. Hawke, who swears up and down that what’s between them is just for fun, as if Isabela could mistake the adoration in her eyes.

Hawke, who has lost so much and has suffered through the worst days of her life in these past few years. Hawke, who dusts herself off and picks herself back up again anyway. Hawke, who’s agreed to help her retrieve the relic from Wall-Eyed Sam, even though Isabela’s well-aware she rightly doesn’t deserve the assistance.

Hawke, who’s fast asleep, curled up under her shoulder, hair plastered to her at odd angles to her face, dampened from their night of shared exertion. Hawke, her forehead smooth, more at peace in her sleep than she ever is in her waking hours. Hawke, with her lips slightly parted and her somewhat congested nose, fighting off the last remnants of a cold.

The snoring should annoy Isabela more than it does, but instead, the casual intimacy of simply being able to watch Hawke at her most vulnerable makes Isabela’s heart clench in cold fear.

She doesn’t deserve this.

She doesn’t deserve to be here. 

And more than anything, she wishes she could be the type of person who would be worthy of Hawke’s affection, her love, of her laughs, the gentle touches against her elbow, the breadth of her smile as she lifts her head from between her legs. It almost feels like Isabela’s using her: Isabela takes and she takes and she takes, but she’s incapable of reciprocating, at least outside of the bedroom, where she’s quickly learning it matters most. That maybe, just maybe, they could be something more, if only Isabela was a different, better, person.

Curling an arm around Hawke’s waist, she closes her eyes and steels her resolve. Once she’s recovered the relic, she’ll leave Kirkwall once and for all. Whatever this it is between them, it must become nothing but a fond memory. With every day that passes in the same familiar motions, the chances of messing it all up increase exponentially.

A storm is brewing, and she must weather it like she always does.

Alone.


End file.
